My life as an image right now

I set out on this new journey on the 4^th of January and three weeks in I can already tell that this is going to be one of the most trying experiences of my life thus far. Already I have come across hurdles and had to deal with insecurities and past anxieties that I thought were long in the past and gone. The way I see my life right now can pretty much be summed up in this picture.

The classes started on January 10^th and the first day we learned that the following day we were to give a presentation that would equal 33% of the points for the overall course. Now I like to do things a certain way, and that way usually takes time so I can get things just right. So as you can imagine panic ensues and I stress myself out remembering past classroom failures and thinking to myself that I was about to set a new record for failing out of mission academy.

 I spent the rest of that day working on my project using Instagram in ministry (it was a digital media class) and I actually enjoyed giving the presentation and ending with the Instagram selfie with my fellow students.I made it through the first class and I hoped the worse was over (delusional I know)

.... then we started Intro to Theology…

This was a 7 day class that met for 5 hours in the morning then 3 hours most evenings. The first day of this class the teacher started spatting out words (that I’ve never heard in my life) talking about different theologians and why they believed what they did and then having us form groups to give presentations about different topics. If you read above you would know that this is really not my learning style, towards the end of the first 5 hour period we once again separated to prepare for a presentation this time to quickly read over the wiki page on Theology and then summarize it for the class.

Have you ever wiki searched the term “Theology” in the English language? 

It is MASSIVE….

(Unless you search it in German, which is not as big)

Long story short I cried. Thankfully my back was turned so no one knew that I was trying to read this endless page through tears. I was overwhelmed by everything being thrown on me at once, by trying to do things perfectly, by trying to keep up with the English translator while the teacher was speaking in German and by all of those reminders that I haven’t been in a classroom setting in about 10 years. I went as far as going upstairs after we ended classes and laying in my bed asking God if I could go back to America, but I knew I was being dramatic so I got up and joined the others.

The rest of the two weeks were better, he went on to explain those crazy words and although it was not easier by any means I only cried one other day J

My days have been filled with crazy amounts of learning and my evenings filled with quietness and large books that must be read. In the evenings I like going on walks here, breathing in the cold fresh air and clearing my mind of the classes and the pile of books and just being with God.

I’m not quite as delusional now, I know it’s not going to be easier. In fact I just learned today that the place I’m going to in Paraguay there isn’t any English at all, which adds a whole new level of difficulty for the months ahead. But I know that God is faithful, that he has called me to this and provided a way for a reason. I’ve seen God moving over the last three weeks, he’s preparing me, growing me, and definitely challenging me and whatever this year has to offer,  I am choosing joy; “for the joy of the Lord is my strength” Nehemiah 8:10

Please Pray
- For continued strength for the weeks to come
- over my spanish lessons I'm hoping to begin this week
- for relationships and opportunities to serve while here in Wuestenrot
- For the ministry in Paraguay that I will be joining May 1st